just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
