so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
