Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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