I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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