At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
