Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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