you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
