You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
