Screwed.edu
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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