we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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