First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
