There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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