he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We are all done wearing pants today
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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