I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
