i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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