I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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