So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
