In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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