I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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