Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
