the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
