You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
