1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
