Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
