Your dad touched me again.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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