Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
