My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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