Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
