stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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