The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
