I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
