problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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