MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
