Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
