i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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