WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
