Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
