Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
