You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
