I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
