I cockslap morals
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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