every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
