dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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