you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
