porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
