ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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