found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
