Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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