Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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