I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
