he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
