I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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