Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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